By Raf Czarnecki
Is it just me, or does it seem like only a few Thursdays ago the UNO football team dramatically beat Northwest Missouri State? Has it really been eight months since that eventful evening where after taking down a few “kamikazes,” I found my happy self at O’Briens wondering if Friday morning classes were necessary?
Anyhow, eight months have passed and I still feel as intelligent (or perhaps unintelligent in the eyes of a few haters out there) as I did back in August. Sure, those speech and journalism classes mixed in with a science course just to piss you off are fun and all, but what have I really learned in the last two semesters other than garage parking is clutch?
*Gettin’ learned …
A few things I picked up working the best gig on campus:
– Stay away from bold predictions unless it’s 2 a.m., you’re fresh out of column ideas and … check that, laying your so-called “sports knowledge” on the line never gets old.
– Intramural sports are on the verge of greatness and the people who run the show are worthy of all the attention they receive. Thanks for the time, y’all.
– The NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL are all opening acts, while college athletics are the main attraction. Free agency = whack, love of the game = big-time.
– The lost art of free association is making a strong comeback. For example: Anna Kournikova … nah, too easy (not literally speaking, of course).
– Editors are big-time. Props go out to “B-Shaw,” Paul, TJ and anyone else who put up with my two cents’ worth all year long. (sniffling) It’s all about the little people.
Before I go out of my way and start thanking all the wonderful folks at the cafeteria who put together those scrumptious chicken sandwiches, a brief rundown of what to expect this summer would be a fitting way for us to part.
*Summer Sports Extravaganza!
We’ll start off with the mighty Lakers and Red Wings getting punked out of the playoffs before Mike Tyson eats away on Lennox Lewis’ children — I mean, neck.
Next, we’ll turn to the most exciting spectator sporting event known to man: World Cup soccer. Not exactly girls on trampolines, but noteworthy nonetheless. Bold pick of the week goes as follows: The U.S. national team will come back home with a few wins under its belt, while a European or South American team will score a lot of goals.
Metal bats are the devil. The College World Series will do a fine job of charging folks $20 for a water and a hot dog while showcasing an all-Texas final. I’ll take Rice over Houston 27-24 in a pitchers’ dual.
David Duval will finally snap. Running down Tiger Woods, Duval will grab a nine iron and go to town on the “living legend” during the final round of the U.S. Open.
*Baseball Tonight will change its name to *The Real Best Damn Sports Show Period. Side note: Lisa Guerrero and I our planning on a July wedding.
Finally, safety and productivity over the summer are key. Don’t drink on Tuesdays … oh wait, my agent is calling.
Good news, Ahmad Rashad finally got fired. Time to forgo my senior year and give the *NBA on NBC a shot. Scratch what I said earlier about professional sports. Take me to my signing bonus and late.
